Yesterday I had a major work deadline, for which I had been slogging 18+ hr days for over a week now. It is typical, life of a small business woman. We have staff to help, but often we have to do every little bit of the work, be it cleaning up after a coffee spill to making presentations on the national stage. So, on last Saturday morning, at 7am, while having my second coffee, I started writing this post. A friend had asked me a question about Vipassana and I wrote her a long reply on email. Then I thought, I should share the same with you all. Why not?
From tomorrow I start my sixth Vipassana course and I am very excited about it. This time I will be serving the course, and my father will be sitting the course. I feel very fortunate that my mother sat a course the year before she passed away, and this year my father is sitting. In Indian culture, there is this belief that it is very hard for children to repay the debt of their parents - to have given them birth and afforded them an opportunity to experience the human world. I am told that this is very opposite to the philosophy in Western culture, where the child owes nothing to the parents. The parents had sex, so the child was born, linked to the "original sin". Here I am, living in the West for almost two decades, with an ingrained Indian philosophy, that is my reality! Here's how I look at it, I have done as much as I can possibly do for my parents. They did/do not lack for money or any major existential comfort, of course they could have flaunted/enjoyed their money a bit more, but they did not, it was/is their choice. When my mother was sick, I left everything in "my world" here in the US, that is my own family, my work, my fledgling business, my home, and spent three months caring for her and my father. Since then, I have looked after my family, the best I way I possibly could with repeated visits and communication. No, I did not carry them on my shoulders, I don't think I needed to. The Indian philosophy on children's duty goes this way - to repay your parents' debt, there are few ways -
if they are uncomfortable, make them comfortable;
if they are not established in morality, help them get established in morality and virtue;
if they are not established in sharing and caring, help them to get established in generosity;
if they are not established in insight and understanding of the world, help them get established in the same.
So, with my father doing this course next week, I feel I will have made my little effort to help him establish in insight. I take the horse to the water, if it drinks or not, it is the horse's choice.
Vipassana is about self-observation and learning from that. It is the technique to “see the reality as it is”, and if practiced the right way, it can get us out of misery. All around me I see a lot of misery, people are sad or agitated, or frustrated. There is so much intolerance, anxiety, violence, and fear. We just have to turn on the news and it is full of hyperbole of what is going wrong in the the world, bomb blasts and war. Yes, the common man is also taking vacations to exotic places, babies are being born, there is joy in many aspects, often doused in alcohol and drugs. I may have a very pessimistic view at the moment. And it may be colored by my ability to see the pain in existence. I find most of us constantly trying to hold still in a changing world and finding it difficult. Disease and death is hurting too. As I work with my hospice patients, I notice the pain in the eyes of the caregivers how the anticipation of separation hurts them, and some are just tired fighting the disease.
When I look at my life, and the incessant challenges I had to face especially in the last five years, I feel that Vipassana has been a tremendous tool for me to help me make sense of it all, and often allow me to see various points of view, and grow to accept my life as it is, and not just tolerate it. Last five years have been a constant barrage of storms in my personal life - car accident, sick parents, death, divorce, major surgeries, home buy/sell, moving, building a business, hiring, etc. - and I survived. And this is still a work in progress. That is why I practice, that is why I do two retreats a year, and that is also why I often wish I had the exposure 30 years back and maybe not have to suffer so much. I have had a few people question the value, for they find me more perceptive than I was in the past and hence feel I may be suffering more. But I don't think so. You see, I feel I now have a tool to take temperature as the heat rises and also a pressure relief valve should I need it from time to time. That is good, methinks.
We are all very ancient creatures, with eons of tendencies ingrained in us – the good and the bad. Our cloth is quite dirty, and Vipassana helps us launder it. Leading a life of morality, meditative practice and discipline, with a curious investigative mind that penetrates into insight, I feel, is a good way to live. Hence I practice. Each one of us start at a different place based on our life experiences. The teachers/ assistant teachers at the centers we practice are not enlightened beings, they are normal people like us who have done a few more courses than us. They do not claim to be any different or superior. And they do not have all the answers to the miseries of life, and there is no "guru-dom" going on. What makes this all work for me is that there is no religion involved, that it is pure technique. There is no hypnosis, or any other kind of feel-good mumbo-jumbo. There is no guru, or rituals, or monetary shenanigans, etc. You take the technique and use it in your life the best way you can, depending on the depth of your understanding.
In India, we believe that there are four paths to enlightenment – Karma Yoga, Raj Yoga, Bhakti Yoga, and Jnana Yoga. Every human is suited for/predisposed to one or a mix of these four. No two people are alike because of the different life experiences and tendencies we have. Vipassana is a tool in the Jnana yoga path, just one tool of many. People who are inclined and resonate more with Jnana yoga will find Vipassana helpful, others won’t. So I am not at all surprised that everyone does not get the benefit as I did. Each person should be free to find his/her own path to wisdom, and use the method and means that work best for them.
For some, chanting matras or singing praise of a god or goddess with unlimited love in their heart creates a cleansing situation and their mind becomes pure and beautiful, they attain enlightenment. There have been many saints like that, does not matter which religion/god they follow.
For some, it is selfless service. They let themselves melt away in relentless service for others. They attain a higher state that way. We all can cite a few such examples as well.
For people like me, with an extremely inquisitive and discerning mind, Jnana Yog is the path, because I need insight, I need to understand, I need to experience to believe. I cannot simply trust other people's words, I need experience the wisdom first hand. Hence Vipassana works for me.
For some people, it is a mix of all the three above, Raj Yoga. That is what the Vedanta Centers all over the world talk about. They urge people to not waste a moment of this precious life and spend every minute in one of the three practices – Karma, Bhakti, or Samadhi (meditation); and because you are busy with spiritual work, there is no way other “stuff” can come into your psyche, so your mind will get cleaned over time and you will attain enlightenment.
Where I am right now, Vipassana works for me. Five/ ten years from now, who knows? I am changing every day. I may have to follow another path later in life. I am very fluid.
So, for people who ask me, all I can say is that – have an open mind.
Vipassana is a technique, it cannot be learned or be understood by reading books or by discussing. One has to do a course, at the very least, a course. It cannot hurt you if you follow it with an open mind. If you go with a judging mind, it will only multiply your doubt, fear, and anxiety and will do no good.
I lead a very intense life, especially at work. And right now I am looking forward to the course, just one more sleep to go when I can let the pressure relief go off! Makes me happy. Very.
From tomorrow I start my sixth Vipassana course and I am very excited about it. This time I will be serving the course, and my father will be sitting the course. I feel very fortunate that my mother sat a course the year before she passed away, and this year my father is sitting. In Indian culture, there is this belief that it is very hard for children to repay the debt of their parents - to have given them birth and afforded them an opportunity to experience the human world. I am told that this is very opposite to the philosophy in Western culture, where the child owes nothing to the parents. The parents had sex, so the child was born, linked to the "original sin". Here I am, living in the West for almost two decades, with an ingrained Indian philosophy, that is my reality! Here's how I look at it, I have done as much as I can possibly do for my parents. They did/do not lack for money or any major existential comfort, of course they could have flaunted/enjoyed their money a bit more, but they did not, it was/is their choice. When my mother was sick, I left everything in "my world" here in the US, that is my own family, my work, my fledgling business, my home, and spent three months caring for her and my father. Since then, I have looked after my family, the best I way I possibly could with repeated visits and communication. No, I did not carry them on my shoulders, I don't think I needed to. The Indian philosophy on children's duty goes this way - to repay your parents' debt, there are few ways -
if they are uncomfortable, make them comfortable;
if they are not established in morality, help them get established in morality and virtue;
if they are not established in sharing and caring, help them to get established in generosity;
if they are not established in insight and understanding of the world, help them get established in the same.
So, with my father doing this course next week, I feel I will have made my little effort to help him establish in insight. I take the horse to the water, if it drinks or not, it is the horse's choice.
 |
| Ready to "open my heart" and let insight come in |
When I look at my life, and the incessant challenges I had to face especially in the last five years, I feel that Vipassana has been a tremendous tool for me to help me make sense of it all, and often allow me to see various points of view, and grow to accept my life as it is, and not just tolerate it. Last five years have been a constant barrage of storms in my personal life - car accident, sick parents, death, divorce, major surgeries, home buy/sell, moving, building a business, hiring, etc. - and I survived. And this is still a work in progress. That is why I practice, that is why I do two retreats a year, and that is also why I often wish I had the exposure 30 years back and maybe not have to suffer so much. I have had a few people question the value, for they find me more perceptive than I was in the past and hence feel I may be suffering more. But I don't think so. You see, I feel I now have a tool to take temperature as the heat rises and also a pressure relief valve should I need it from time to time. That is good, methinks.
We are all very ancient creatures, with eons of tendencies ingrained in us – the good and the bad. Our cloth is quite dirty, and Vipassana helps us launder it. Leading a life of morality, meditative practice and discipline, with a curious investigative mind that penetrates into insight, I feel, is a good way to live. Hence I practice. Each one of us start at a different place based on our life experiences. The teachers/ assistant teachers at the centers we practice are not enlightened beings, they are normal people like us who have done a few more courses than us. They do not claim to be any different or superior. And they do not have all the answers to the miseries of life, and there is no "guru-dom" going on. What makes this all work for me is that there is no religion involved, that it is pure technique. There is no hypnosis, or any other kind of feel-good mumbo-jumbo. There is no guru, or rituals, or monetary shenanigans, etc. You take the technique and use it in your life the best way you can, depending on the depth of your understanding.
In India, we believe that there are four paths to enlightenment – Karma Yoga, Raj Yoga, Bhakti Yoga, and Jnana Yoga. Every human is suited for/predisposed to one or a mix of these four. No two people are alike because of the different life experiences and tendencies we have. Vipassana is a tool in the Jnana yoga path, just one tool of many. People who are inclined and resonate more with Jnana yoga will find Vipassana helpful, others won’t. So I am not at all surprised that everyone does not get the benefit as I did. Each person should be free to find his/her own path to wisdom, and use the method and means that work best for them.
For some, chanting matras or singing praise of a god or goddess with unlimited love in their heart creates a cleansing situation and their mind becomes pure and beautiful, they attain enlightenment. There have been many saints like that, does not matter which religion/god they follow.
For some, it is selfless service. They let themselves melt away in relentless service for others. They attain a higher state that way. We all can cite a few such examples as well.
For people like me, with an extremely inquisitive and discerning mind, Jnana Yog is the path, because I need insight, I need to understand, I need to experience to believe. I cannot simply trust other people's words, I need experience the wisdom first hand. Hence Vipassana works for me.
For some people, it is a mix of all the three above, Raj Yoga. That is what the Vedanta Centers all over the world talk about. They urge people to not waste a moment of this precious life and spend every minute in one of the three practices – Karma, Bhakti, or Samadhi (meditation); and because you are busy with spiritual work, there is no way other “stuff” can come into your psyche, so your mind will get cleaned over time and you will attain enlightenment.
Where I am right now, Vipassana works for me. Five/ ten years from now, who knows? I am changing every day. I may have to follow another path later in life. I am very fluid.
So, for people who ask me, all I can say is that – have an open mind.
Vipassana is a technique, it cannot be learned or be understood by reading books or by discussing. One has to do a course, at the very least, a course. It cannot hurt you if you follow it with an open mind. If you go with a judging mind, it will only multiply your doubt, fear, and anxiety and will do no good.
I lead a very intense life, especially at work. And right now I am looking forward to the course, just one more sleep to go when I can let the pressure relief go off! Makes me happy. Very.
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