"Why is it so hard?" "Why don't (someone) see the issue and just do the right thing?"....
Have you ever felt this way? Have you ever tried to convince your friend / family/ coworker/ boss of a better way to do things, of change that can help them and the work / society at large? Only to be faced with a resistance that did not make sense? Have you ever wondered that in spite of all logical reasons and facts, people just don't want to do the right thing or change for the better?
Here are few examples:
Jamie Oliver wants kids in LA schools to have good healthy food. He was blocked.
There is resistance in the form of Not In My Back Yard (NIMBY) for most public projects.
If a friend / colleague behaves inappropriately and you call it out and try to make them understand, it is usually you who gets marginalized?
Climate Change activists and believers are ridiculed and humiliated in TV shows and in the news.
What are we trying to do here? We are trying to bring about CHANGE.
Leading these change efforts we find deeply committed people who believe in their cause, are convinced that they are right, and are prepared to sacrifice their careers if need be. And in most cases, that is what happens. But can it be different?
It's not enough to be convinced that you are right. Because the other side is equally convinced that they are right. If you want to bring about real change, do not try to convince people that they are wrong. This will only change your motive into "it's me or him" and you are most certainly going to lose. And on the way out, you will be labeled a military zealot by the people around you, while you will call yourself a martyr. In any case, you have failed in your mission, that is to bring about the change you believe in and the change that is for the greater good.
If you actually want to bring about the change, do not die for it, try some techniques that will make the math work on your favor. Try these:
It's going to be a LONG journey. Be very clear in the way you think - you are here in this "change mobile" for the long haul. You are not going to look for a quick victory - if you care about the cause that much, you have to be here for the long term and see it through. Mind you, even if you have made progress and won a little victory here and there, you have to prepare yourself as to not rest. In many cases you will find that if you have managed to bring about a change, the battle keeps reappearing form time to time - you have to be there on the sidelines to make sure that the change is permanent. Be very sure that you are ready to embark on this long journey before you jump onto the wagon.
Speak the Language. Learn the other side's point of view. Learn their language and arguments better than they do. You have to have a better point than tit-for-tat. Your arguments must have more "oomph", it cannot just be a "this is the right thing" argument. Think about what extra you have to offer, find it and present it. For example, to be green is to reduce your energy and water footprint. It is the right thing to do, no doubt about that. But it's not always economically feasible in the short term, it always costs more money to be green! Why would people want to do it? Why would companies want to do it? You have to rephrase the point by putting the brackets further out and make an economical argument with a cradle to grave costs, that will then turn the argument around. You have to almost always back up your argument with something more than just the moral cause.
Offer a Solution. This is the most important lesson, I think. It's all about action. It's not good enough to be against something that is bad - you have to be able to offer something that is better. Whether you are trying to convince your boss or a random person on the internet - just pointing out the mistake or the problem in the status quo will not work for them. If all you are offering is nothing instead of what is going on - there will be no change. You have to have a clear action plan written out and offer that to your opponent as an alternative. I find a lot of friends stuck in this problem. While most of them know that the status quo is wrong, sometimes even morally wrong; but they do not have a solution to replace it. All they do is either stand up and shout loudly with people hardly listening and usually writing them off, or, I find them very frustrated and complaining. Well, stand up all right. But first write down the action plan and then do it!
Find allies before you go to war. Often people who want to bring about change are so convinced that they are doing the right thing, they end up working themselves into a corner themselves and also find themselves all alone. To really bring about change you have to cut across the boundaries and form alliances. Bring along the risk-adverse crowd, convince them that your solution meets their criteria, especially of economics. For example, if you walk through a random village in Africa, you will find many examples of of aid projects that have failed. Why? The intent was good, the project no doubt was resourced well, then why did it fail? In most of those projects, the people did not feel that they 'owned' them. These aid projects were often either seen as 'handouts' or 'hidden agenda' since most aid projects were done as one-off, quick in-n-out fixes by agents from another culture. They did not have the buy-in required from people on the ground, the real beneficiaries. Some aid agencies have figured this problem out now and are working with a new model on the ground - building allies before action. It is a slow process and it takes you the first point above - you have to be patient yet with a dogged determination.
No one said that this is going to be easy! If you really care for your cause, all the four points mentioned above will not be too difficult to implement. Just do not get into the rut of complaint or outrage - that kind of behavior does not help anyone - only ruins the cause you so care about.
