There is a lot of talk these days about mindfulness. There are many books and school/college courses being dedicated to this theme, and it is becoming a marketable product from the East, like yoga, and gaining many western flavors along the way. Being of Indian decent and that I practice meditation, I have so many people asking me about it these days. So I thought I will write my perspectives down.
First off, I will say that this is what I feel today, given my limited understanding of the concept. Tomorrow I will have changed and this perspective will have evolved into something different.
I am a traditionalist, at least to the extent possible to be one in this modern world. I think that mindfulness in its true form can only happen by training the mind with meditation. Hence, I will recommend that one does meditation (especially Samatha and/or Vipassana meditation), two hours a day, one hour in the morning before the day begins and the other in the evening when the day ends. These bookend meditations are to train and clean the mind. At the beginning of the day, when we meditate, we bring the mind to stillness and to the deep understanding of the impermanence of everything around us. It clears the canvas of the mind and makes it sharp and focused on whatever we have to accomplish during the day. It helps us keep calm and grounded throughout the day. Then, at the end of the day, when we sit in meditation again, it helps launder all the creases and dirt we have collected over the days' work. It helps us connect with self again. An evening meditation usually yields a very peaceful sleep, even if it is short sometimes. This has been my experience.
Most people say that they do not have time to do two full hours of meditation, they want the short "to-go" version. You see, if you do the two hours a day practice, the "to-go" version comes naturally, it is buy-two-get-the-rest-of-the-day-free. But what to do, people only want the "momentary mindfulness" version. So, here is what I think may work:
The Foundation. To develop do mindfulness as a practice there are three essential qualities one needs to have in oneself: (a) Morality, (b) Generosity, and (c) Letting go. These qualities we usually preach, but find very hard to practice. But it is essential to start recognizing them as qualities to develop, then gradually find ways to work them into your life. Morality is defined as thinking and doing the right thing, according to the conscience deep inside. It knows, and you know it knows. We just have to develop the courage to listen to it and then follow the compass. Generosity is to understand that there is nothing to lose in this world and therefore offer help, be kind with your material wealth and more importantly with your emotions. Letting go is to constantly be aware of what you really need, and gently dissociating from everything that is excess. Development of these qualities are not zero and one, it takes time and patience. But these qualities are very important for true mindfulness to develop.
How To. Mindfulness is nothing but paying attention to self. Full attention, unbiased. Usually we are so preoccupied during our daily routines and chores, that even during our sleep we have dreams of everything that we have done or will do soon. Mindfulness cuts through this careless and compulsive tendencies and helps open the mind. That we all understand, but what we do find difficult is to figure out what "unbiased" means. This is looking without judgement. That is something we have to work on.
Find gaps in your day. Ten second intervals. When the alarm rings, and you are in bed, lie there awake. 10 seconds. During your morning routine, again find 10 seconds. Before breakfast / coffee, 10 seconds. When you get in the car. Wait, 10 seconds. Stuck in traffic, 10 seconds. Turn on computer at work, sit for 10 seconds. Waiting in line, 10 seconds. Like that, catch yourself in "gaps" 10 seconds at a time. This is STEP ONE. Just to get in the habit of catching yourself, 10 seconds at a time. See if you can do this 20 times a day. It will be great just to be able to catch yourself in the "gaps".
In these "gaps", start looking at yourself. Where are you? Bring your attention to the six senses - touch, smell, taste, sight, sound, mind. Feel your body from head to toe and sense the touch of the ground, fabric, air, etc. on your skin. Notice the pattern of your breath - shallow or deep, fast or slow. Where is your tongue in your mouth? What is the brightness around you - very dark or very sunny? What are the sounds around - loud ones, soft buzz, etc.? How is your mind - excited, depressed, eager, etc.? Remember, just be an observer for 10 seconds, as if you are outside your self and seeing passively. There is no judgement - not what it should be or what it is not. Just see what it is, at the moment, in real time. Take a reading, that is all. Nothing more. Nothing less. Ten seconds is not too long. By the time you have asked these questions and taken a reading, you have to move on with whatever you were doing. So, become the doer again. This is STEP TWO. It takes time to develop this faculty of observer. Spend time on it. No judgement, just looking. There is no good or bad, no looking into the future. Just pause and see. Take a selfie!!
Once you get good at taking these pauses, and looking at the as-is state, you then add a little time, say additional three to five seconds to the pause, and ask about feelings. This is a bit more involved than just observing the state of mind (as described in Step 2), for here we reflect on the cause-effect, though still maintaining a nonjudgmental mind. What happens here is that you catch the flow of the mind, and observe the next level, its tendencies. This is where many people say that they have mini-aha moments. For example, you are sitting in traffic on the freeway, and you remember Step 1, and take 10 seconds out. In Step 2 you find that your butt is touching the car seat, the back is slightly bent, your breath is fast and shallow, your skin is flushed and warm, your tongue is pressed against the teeth, and your mind is impatient. What happens is that you suddenly realize that you are in the flow of anger developing. You start noticing the mood. And you find yourself having a momentary choice, following that mood to a full blown bristle, or suppressing it, or advising it. And at that moment, as you develop this faculty to observe the mood, you will notice that you can do something about it. In this STEP THREE, we are actually gauging the intensity of the feelings as they arise. Again, as an observer, like a scientist with a pen and clipboard, you objectively give a value - anger is arising, it is at level 2 out of 10; or, lust is arising, it is at level 6 out of 10. Then, with your mind, gently advise, not scold or encourage, gently advise the feeling that has arisen - "Be careful, be patient, this is a passing phase." That is all. Do this VERY gently. And if the feelings do not listen, it is okay. Go do what you are doing, do not stop. Over time, this practice will work wonders. It takes a lot of time, years and even an entire lifetime to work this out. But this is the real stress-buster. The real deal!
Word of caution, there is a tendency to skip the Step 2 practice and go directly to Step 3. DO NOT do this. Step 2 is the most important step, if you do not develop this faculty of choice-less observation of sensations in the moment, this whole mindfulness exercise will be useless.
That's it. This is all there is to mindfulness. As you practice and practice, it becomes a second nature. Life becomes easy and less stressful by the day. When the day ends, your body is tired, but your mind will be still strong and fast. There is no one checking your progress, you are your own trainer and master. You practice you get benefit. There is no magic. Practice skillfully. Also remember, you are not a robot, you cannot be perfect all the time. So be kind to yourself.
These days we give a lot of importance to health, we try to eat right and exercise to stay fit. We monitor everything we eat, how many steps we walked, etc. Are we getting healthier? If we do it diligently, we know we will. And results will speak for themselves. Personally, I am quite behind on this health bit. I am currently 30 pounds overweight, I know it. I do not track my intake and I do not workout enough either. I have started wearing a step-tracker and I am trying to get 10,000 steps a day, but some days I can and some days I slip. I am not perfect, far from it. But one thing I will say, I do not beat myself up for it anymore. I am kind and gentle to myself these days, much more than I used to be five years back. As for mental health, through meditation, I am very vigilant about it. I believe that if I can get my mind fit and clean, everything else will follow. Mind will automatically train my body, eventually. So, I spend a lot of effort in training my mind, and I cannot even begin to say how much benefit I get from this practice everyday. I notice myself changing everyday, and it is a delight to be able to observe that. My patience has improved, I can handle/ lift more each day. Resilience has significantly improved. I am like these roly-poly toys with low center of gravity, the forces of life blow and punch me flat, but I stand up again. I bounce back faster these days. Has my life become a calm still pool, not yet. But I seem to have developed enough mindfulness to see the ripples and it feels great. I have long ways to go to have the perfectly still mind, probably lifetimes. But the peace and calm will be benefits I reap in this lifetime. And this journey sure is fun!
First off, I will say that this is what I feel today, given my limited understanding of the concept. Tomorrow I will have changed and this perspective will have evolved into something different.
I am a traditionalist, at least to the extent possible to be one in this modern world. I think that mindfulness in its true form can only happen by training the mind with meditation. Hence, I will recommend that one does meditation (especially Samatha and/or Vipassana meditation), two hours a day, one hour in the morning before the day begins and the other in the evening when the day ends. These bookend meditations are to train and clean the mind. At the beginning of the day, when we meditate, we bring the mind to stillness and to the deep understanding of the impermanence of everything around us. It clears the canvas of the mind and makes it sharp and focused on whatever we have to accomplish during the day. It helps us keep calm and grounded throughout the day. Then, at the end of the day, when we sit in meditation again, it helps launder all the creases and dirt we have collected over the days' work. It helps us connect with self again. An evening meditation usually yields a very peaceful sleep, even if it is short sometimes. This has been my experience.
Most people say that they do not have time to do two full hours of meditation, they want the short "to-go" version. You see, if you do the two hours a day practice, the "to-go" version comes naturally, it is buy-two-get-the-rest-of-the-day-free. But what to do, people only want the "momentary mindfulness" version. So, here is what I think may work:
The Foundation. To develop do mindfulness as a practice there are three essential qualities one needs to have in oneself: (a) Morality, (b) Generosity, and (c) Letting go. These qualities we usually preach, but find very hard to practice. But it is essential to start recognizing them as qualities to develop, then gradually find ways to work them into your life. Morality is defined as thinking and doing the right thing, according to the conscience deep inside. It knows, and you know it knows. We just have to develop the courage to listen to it and then follow the compass. Generosity is to understand that there is nothing to lose in this world and therefore offer help, be kind with your material wealth and more importantly with your emotions. Letting go is to constantly be aware of what you really need, and gently dissociating from everything that is excess. Development of these qualities are not zero and one, it takes time and patience. But these qualities are very important for true mindfulness to develop.
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| Mindfulness, the practice |
Find gaps in your day. Ten second intervals. When the alarm rings, and you are in bed, lie there awake. 10 seconds. During your morning routine, again find 10 seconds. Before breakfast / coffee, 10 seconds. When you get in the car. Wait, 10 seconds. Stuck in traffic, 10 seconds. Turn on computer at work, sit for 10 seconds. Waiting in line, 10 seconds. Like that, catch yourself in "gaps" 10 seconds at a time. This is STEP ONE. Just to get in the habit of catching yourself, 10 seconds at a time. See if you can do this 20 times a day. It will be great just to be able to catch yourself in the "gaps".
In these "gaps", start looking at yourself. Where are you? Bring your attention to the six senses - touch, smell, taste, sight, sound, mind. Feel your body from head to toe and sense the touch of the ground, fabric, air, etc. on your skin. Notice the pattern of your breath - shallow or deep, fast or slow. Where is your tongue in your mouth? What is the brightness around you - very dark or very sunny? What are the sounds around - loud ones, soft buzz, etc.? How is your mind - excited, depressed, eager, etc.? Remember, just be an observer for 10 seconds, as if you are outside your self and seeing passively. There is no judgement - not what it should be or what it is not. Just see what it is, at the moment, in real time. Take a reading, that is all. Nothing more. Nothing less. Ten seconds is not too long. By the time you have asked these questions and taken a reading, you have to move on with whatever you were doing. So, become the doer again. This is STEP TWO. It takes time to develop this faculty of observer. Spend time on it. No judgement, just looking. There is no good or bad, no looking into the future. Just pause and see. Take a selfie!!
Once you get good at taking these pauses, and looking at the as-is state, you then add a little time, say additional three to five seconds to the pause, and ask about feelings. This is a bit more involved than just observing the state of mind (as described in Step 2), for here we reflect on the cause-effect, though still maintaining a nonjudgmental mind. What happens here is that you catch the flow of the mind, and observe the next level, its tendencies. This is where many people say that they have mini-aha moments. For example, you are sitting in traffic on the freeway, and you remember Step 1, and take 10 seconds out. In Step 2 you find that your butt is touching the car seat, the back is slightly bent, your breath is fast and shallow, your skin is flushed and warm, your tongue is pressed against the teeth, and your mind is impatient. What happens is that you suddenly realize that you are in the flow of anger developing. You start noticing the mood. And you find yourself having a momentary choice, following that mood to a full blown bristle, or suppressing it, or advising it. And at that moment, as you develop this faculty to observe the mood, you will notice that you can do something about it. In this STEP THREE, we are actually gauging the intensity of the feelings as they arise. Again, as an observer, like a scientist with a pen and clipboard, you objectively give a value - anger is arising, it is at level 2 out of 10; or, lust is arising, it is at level 6 out of 10. Then, with your mind, gently advise, not scold or encourage, gently advise the feeling that has arisen - "Be careful, be patient, this is a passing phase." That is all. Do this VERY gently. And if the feelings do not listen, it is okay. Go do what you are doing, do not stop. Over time, this practice will work wonders. It takes a lot of time, years and even an entire lifetime to work this out. But this is the real stress-buster. The real deal!
Word of caution, there is a tendency to skip the Step 2 practice and go directly to Step 3. DO NOT do this. Step 2 is the most important step, if you do not develop this faculty of choice-less observation of sensations in the moment, this whole mindfulness exercise will be useless.
That's it. This is all there is to mindfulness. As you practice and practice, it becomes a second nature. Life becomes easy and less stressful by the day. When the day ends, your body is tired, but your mind will be still strong and fast. There is no one checking your progress, you are your own trainer and master. You practice you get benefit. There is no magic. Practice skillfully. Also remember, you are not a robot, you cannot be perfect all the time. So be kind to yourself.
These days we give a lot of importance to health, we try to eat right and exercise to stay fit. We monitor everything we eat, how many steps we walked, etc. Are we getting healthier? If we do it diligently, we know we will. And results will speak for themselves. Personally, I am quite behind on this health bit. I am currently 30 pounds overweight, I know it. I do not track my intake and I do not workout enough either. I have started wearing a step-tracker and I am trying to get 10,000 steps a day, but some days I can and some days I slip. I am not perfect, far from it. But one thing I will say, I do not beat myself up for it anymore. I am kind and gentle to myself these days, much more than I used to be five years back. As for mental health, through meditation, I am very vigilant about it. I believe that if I can get my mind fit and clean, everything else will follow. Mind will automatically train my body, eventually. So, I spend a lot of effort in training my mind, and I cannot even begin to say how much benefit I get from this practice everyday. I notice myself changing everyday, and it is a delight to be able to observe that. My patience has improved, I can handle/ lift more each day. Resilience has significantly improved. I am like these roly-poly toys with low center of gravity, the forces of life blow and punch me flat, but I stand up again. I bounce back faster these days. Has my life become a calm still pool, not yet. But I seem to have developed enough mindfulness to see the ripples and it feels great. I have long ways to go to have the perfectly still mind, probably lifetimes. But the peace and calm will be benefits I reap in this lifetime. And this journey sure is fun!
