Oh! How I wish I had a house keeper

"I never wanted to be Jane. I always wanted to be Tarzan. I didn't want to vacuum the tree house. I wanted to swing from the vines."

Yes, I am of the female species, but I do not like to keep the house. I like it to be orderly and clean, but I do not like to do the chores. Here is the list of chores around the house that I am always behind on:

1. Clean the bathrooms.
2. Keep the kitchen clean and tidy.
3. Dust all the furniture, everyday.
4. Vacuum and mop the floors, at least once a week.
5. Organize  all the closets and then maintain them.
6. Organize the garage - that is a HUGE task! That 'room' is our junkyard!
7. Put things in their right places. Pick up that towel on the floor, the clothes on the bed, shoes that lie around the house.
8. Load the dishwasher.
9. Wash all the do-not-put-in-the-dishwasher utensils, and glasses by hand; dry and put them away, I mean right-away after use.
10. Take the garbage out.
11. Put the garbage cans out on the pavement on garbage collection days, and bring them back.
12. Keep the tabletops clear and organized, including the large bar we have.
13. Water the plants, right amount at the right time.
14. Weed the garden.
15. Put out ant baits in summer.
16. Sweep and keep the patio clean. Power wash patio once every season.
17. Plant new annuals during season to keep the house looking cheerful.
18. Fertilize the garden and house plants.
19. Pick up Freo and Ozzie's toys.
20. Make a list of all the groceries to buy.
21. Buy the said groceries.
22. Collect all clothes to be washed, sort them.
23. Do the laundry. I have a strict rule to only do laundry when there is enough for a full load. I am VERY water conscious. Hey! It's my job!
24. Fold clothes after laundry.
25. Iron clothes, hang them in the closet, coordinated.
26. Organize the dressers - that's huge! Dressers are notorious for becoming chaotic over time. Each sock needs to be with it's pair, and the intimates folded and stacked.
27. Label and organize the DVD and CD collection.
28. Organize the wine collection.
29. Mend clothes, fix those buttons and tiny rips in otherwise perfect clothes.
30. Serve dinner at the dining table each night, and clean right after.
31. Pack lunch. Prepare for next day's breakfast.
32. Cut the vegetables and meat for me when I cook. Especially grind the masalas as I instruct.
33. Clean refrigerator regularly.
34. Call the plumber to fix the kitchen tap. 
35. Figure out which pipe in the house tends to vibrate when the tap is turned on at the other end of the house - that pipe will break someday and we will have a big leak!
36. Change the light bulbs, especially the ones that are high up and I cannot reach.
37. Get the electrician over and take care of few annoying switches around the house.
38. Get match-up paint and paint over some scratches and drywall patches.
39. Synchronize all the house clocks, twice a year. And check the fire alarm batteries.
40. Deep clean the cupboards in the kitchen, at least once a month.
41. Label and organize the pantry.
42. Maintain a running list of all the things running out and all the things we need to buy, sorted by which store to visit - Costco / Target / Trader Joes / Other.
43. Sometimes, walk Ozzie and Freo when I am feeling particularly lazy or tired or simply want time out.
44. Once a quarter, take all the silver / crystal out and clean them.
45. Change out the bed spreads, curtains, etc. and get them laundered and pressed, and re-installed.
46. Get seasonal display items sorted and organized, stored for the future.
47. Sort and set out donation items.
48. Put together a 'gift box' with all-purpose cards, wrapping paper, ribbons, gift bags, etc. ready to go.
49. Print out photos, get them framed. Move decorations around the house every season to give the home a 'fresh' look.
50. Pack and put away winter clothes in spring and then bring them back out in late fall.
51. Get the mail every day, sort mail and get rid of the junk. Then process the mail promptly.
52. Sweep the front yard once a month and get the leaves and other 'stuff' out of the yard.

And many more....

Kudos to all those women who take care of all this, and kids, and work hard at the office, and also find time to put their feet up with a glass of wine and watch a movie. I cannot do it all!!

So I sit here, in my messy imperfect home, and just hope that someday I will be able to make enough money to hire a housekeeper and delegate all these chores that do not give me any joy to perform.

Aah! Someday......