Last weekend, on Sunday I did a one-day Vipassana self-course. It was a blissful experience. Even though I had my dogs with me, I meditated for ten hours, and it was an "abiding in peace" experience. My mind settled to this very joyful space of stillness and quiet pleasure. They say it is called "piti", I was so grateful to have been able to experience it.
And then came Monday. I really did not feel like getting to work. My workload is kind of light these days, so with no burning deadline, I didn't feel the urgency to focus and go into the deep-work state. So I kept doing light work all day, miscellaneous administrative stuff that the business needs done, but nothing substantial to show. By the time Tuesday rolled in, I was checking emails but realized I really did not want to get deeper into work. I was feeling guilty (Damn, you old habit pattern!!), and that's not a joyful space. Later that night, I decided I am going to experiment Idling for the rest of the week.
A dear friend often comments about me - "Whatever I see you do, I see you do with full might!" Ha! So I thought if I am to Idle, I am going to prove his observation right and see how I can excel in Idling.
How does one Idle for a whole week and be good at it?
How much Idle is good for you, and where is the limit?
Can I get bored of Idling?
What is the difference between Laziness and Idling?
From Wednesday to Friday, I spent Idling - all three long days. My two dogs were my inspiration - how they sleep, get up, shake, drink water, walk around, then bundle up for a snooze again!
All my working life, which is not over 22 years, I have been an Energizer Bunny. Very busy, always on projects, to-do lists, and in motion. When I did not have anything, I made it a point to find something to do. Since 2010, I have been going on 10-day silent vipassana retreats, at least two a year, but even for those, there is a routine, there is a task to be done - meditation. That has usually been my life - always busy, even when I am making fun, it is busy-fun.
After I moved to San Diego in 2009, I started taking a day "off" every quarter or so. Usually it used to be a Saturday, and scheduled. I would get up when I felt like it, and make myself a big pot of khichdi (porridge). Then I'd have that for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. And for the rest of the day, just lie in bed reading or napping, or on the sofa, watching some mindless TV and napping. The resting and sleeping took precedence over reading or finishing a program. My husband used to call me "vegetable"! But you know what? It would charge me up! From the next day, I'd be refreshed and ready, back being the usual Energizer Bunny. But since 2014 or so, I had stopped doing these recharge days.
So was being a vegetable being lazy? I feel that it is lazy when you really do not want to put in the work. When you don't care enough. It is not circumstantial. Me watching Netflix is lazy? Or not wanting to do work is lazy? If it is a repetitive pattern of inaction and procrastination, then maybe it is. I think everyone has their own threshold of laziness. If my husband didn't put the coffee cup in the sink and left it next to the sink, or put the dirty laundry in the vicinity of the laundry room but not in the laundry basket, I think it was lazy. There was an intent of not finishing the task. But you are allowed to take time off - and rest, and clear your mind and body of all kinds of tightness and fatigue. That is not lazy.
So what did I do in the three days of Idle?
- I checked emails once every four hours and responded to the urgent ones. I also took phone calls as necessary, but did not initiate any.
- I did not write a to-do list, though my mind was swimming in things to do. Ha!
- I lay on the sofa watching British crime dramas on Netflix, or reading some books I borrowed from the library, but mostly napping when I felt like it.
- I took my dogs for their walks twice a day, but not anything extra. They were very happy chilling with me, sometimes on me, for the whole three days.
- I made myself simple one-pot meals in the pressure cooker and ate the same for all three meals.
- I slept a lot. A LOT. Over seven hours at night and long naps during the day.
- My meditation hours were even more peaceful, I felt bright physically and mentally.
- I was very aware of sensations in my body, every movement, every morsel I ate, every glass of water I drank, almost of every step I took. It was very pleasing - I was smiling most of the time.
- I think I became a bit more kinder to myself.
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