A young professional recently asked me - What were the barriers and challenges you faced in your career, especially with respect to people? Discrimination? Racism? How did you deal with them?
It is a very good question, and required me to think a bit, for I had never given it much thought before. I am not going to write a long book about it because I don't want to give it any more importance than it deserves. The short answer is - Yes, people I have interacted with during my career have probably discriminated against me, and there were marked signs of racism at times. However, when I believed that I was good for what I was doing, none of those issues were barriers to my performance.
Now, a somewhat long answer.
Have I faced racism? I think I have. Mostly veiled in, what I would say, ignorance. Just yesterday, I was at a CEO group meeting, and the speaker, whom I know from many such meetings before, brought up my cultural background yet again, and this was the fifth time (Yes, I have been counting, just for fun!). He usually talks to me with this idea in mind that I come from a foreign land and I may not understand whatever he is talking about. Given that he has been associated with universities all his life, mostly teaching, he has had access to many foreign students, and had the opportunity to observe them closely. I think he tends to use a very broad brush and paint every foreigner with a stereotype he has created in his head. He cannot see that I am more of global citizen than Indian or American, having lived and worked in four of the six continents, and also been immersed in America for the last fifteen years, and an American citizen too. And this is not new, ten years back when I was working in North Carolina, one of the senior managers of my company had the same idea of me. I was a bit strict with an administrative professional because she was just not meeting the expectations of the department, and was wasting her time filing nails and chit-chatting during office hours. His view was that since there was caste system in India, and that this administrative professional was African American, I probably could not help but be biased against her due to my cultural background. He could not see the truth for what it was, an under-performing employee. Then there were those numerous times after 9/11 when on construction site visits, people always wanted to find out what nationality I was. And of course, there are those people who cannot pronounce my two-syllable-only first name because a fog descends on their brain as soon as their eyes see a different color or hear a different sound over the telephone. Yes, there have been many instances from my life where I have been looked at differently, the most hilarious story was when browsing through the clothing racks at a large retail store in a small town in Western New York, a little girl of four years or so asked me, "Are you human?"
As for discrimination for being female, I believe that has been also very obvious in my life and career. One of the top executives at a very large engineering firm I used to work at had a blatant bias for white males, who he thought, should be apt to lead the company. So, he was always a bit distant or skeptical about my performance. And yes, I know for a fact that I have always been paid less than my male peers, and many times had to work much harder to be given the same role, responsibility, and recognition. I have been passed over many times on promotions and raises too. One manager, on a long three hour drive to a client meeting, spent over two hours explaining to me that a role of a woman is not to be this ambitious, that it affects harmony at home, that I should seriously consider having kids and live a comfortable life with work/career taking the second stage in my life. He was very earnest in his argument and believed it in his core that men and women cannot be equals and that today's society is really trying to go against nature. (He also did not believe in evolution.) You can imagine how awkward the return journey was with him! But, I could not fault him, for there has been people in my extended family who thought the same thing.
So what do we do about it? Do we stand up and shout and cry and make a big fuss? May be, sometimes, when the opportunity and the issue is grave enough and affecting your sanity or well-being. But most of the time, it has been my experience that it all works out and that it is not worth wasting my precious energy on such issues. I was not this way when I was young, I suppose age has made me more tolerant and wiser.
My understanding now, after all these years of struggle, is that the true barrier to achievement lies not anywhere external, it is 100% internal. If I believe, in my deepest core, than I am capable and clear about the path, there is no barrier that can hinder my journey. The force of my conviction will be strong enough to either break the barriers down or help me find a way around them. Most of us spend 100% of our energy on trying to change or fix the outside world and make it bend to the way we want it to be. In business, we want our clients to see our worth, we want our employees to see our vision. At home, we want our family to be in sync with our ideas and wishes. We spend very little time really recognizing what elements we are made of and what makes us alive. If we are aligned to our core, we can be the Pied Piper of Hamelin and lead anyone to our tune. That guy had malicious intent, I am sure we won't. There are only two things that are needed for happiness and contentment in life. One, being in tune with self, accepting all the strengths and weaknesses you have, don't waste time to change them, just know them and accept them unconditionally. (This, I am working on, and it's really hard!!) And two, have pure intent, no matter how hard it is, just keep focusing on the greater good, towards a win-win solution, be it business or home front.
I suppose I owe you a story of when things did go well, to prove the point! When I went to Australia to work on a very fast paced high visibility project, I realized within just a few days that I was in for a do-or-die situation. For one, I was given responsibility that was three levels above my pay-grade and I was told outright by the management that I just had to deal with it. Then, I realized that I had the privilege to be the sole go-to person representing 150+ professionals who had done shabby design and issued them for construction. And all that had to be fixed and turned around immediately to meet the punishing project schedule. Everyday at morning construction meetings, I used to have big burly men throwing rolls of drawings at me, yelling at my face, intimidating me, and sometimes making fun at my company having sent this small brown girl to handle this muiti-billion dollar construction project. I was very distraught in the beginning, but then I just let go all the insults and issues by the wayside. There was a job to be done and I was going to get it done. The next nine months were the most excruciating months of my professional life, I worked 90 hour weeks, non-stop. I used to attend two such painful meetings every morning, get all the issues identified, then sit at my desk and send detailed design packages to five teams in four different countries, who then worked around the clock to deliver to me completed drawings which I reviewed for accuracy and then issued for construction the next day. There was no time to waste on emotions or counting prejudices or protesting. It took about four months to get the train on track, and over time all those people who used to throw things at me and yell at me, started becoming my friends and would stand up in respect when I walked into meeting rooms. At the end of the job, the upper management received milti-million bonus packages, while I got mere $3,200 ($1,500 after taxes!) for all the hard work. I just chalk it off as Life!! I learned on that job in one year what I could not have learned in seven years of regular office desk-job back here in the US. Could I have done better without those challenges and a reasonable pay, sure!! But I do not delve on that, it's useless to believe that outside circumstances have anything to do with your potential. If you have it in you, you will find a way to work out the existing situations or around it.
Throughout my career, I had the extreme good fortune to work with few people who had hearts of gold. In particular, there were three individuals who were my managers and did not see color or sex, but saw in me only the raw potential. They challenged me, and mentored me, and helped me grow. I first learned by emulating them, and then I developed my own style, which they encouraged all the way. My recommendation would be to find those people in your life and work; trust me, they exist. And when you find them, hold them tight. You have to be open and willing to see them. Often we get burned by so much negativity around us that our vision is foggy and suspicious. The only thing you have to be on guard for is your own perceptions and doubts. Know yourself and do not allow any deformed intent or uncertainty creep in. If you are strict on self understanding and preservation, there is nothing that can stop you and your potential will shine through to take you to heights that you never imagined. You will also find people show up in your life who will aid you in that process and they will want nothing in return. You don't need to convince anyone but yourself that your path is open in front of you and you have the potential to soldier on. No amount of discrimination or racism can hold you back.
It is a very good question, and required me to think a bit, for I had never given it much thought before. I am not going to write a long book about it because I don't want to give it any more importance than it deserves. The short answer is - Yes, people I have interacted with during my career have probably discriminated against me, and there were marked signs of racism at times. However, when I believed that I was good for what I was doing, none of those issues were barriers to my performance.
Now, a somewhat long answer.
Have I faced racism? I think I have. Mostly veiled in, what I would say, ignorance. Just yesterday, I was at a CEO group meeting, and the speaker, whom I know from many such meetings before, brought up my cultural background yet again, and this was the fifth time (Yes, I have been counting, just for fun!). He usually talks to me with this idea in mind that I come from a foreign land and I may not understand whatever he is talking about. Given that he has been associated with universities all his life, mostly teaching, he has had access to many foreign students, and had the opportunity to observe them closely. I think he tends to use a very broad brush and paint every foreigner with a stereotype he has created in his head. He cannot see that I am more of global citizen than Indian or American, having lived and worked in four of the six continents, and also been immersed in America for the last fifteen years, and an American citizen too. And this is not new, ten years back when I was working in North Carolina, one of the senior managers of my company had the same idea of me. I was a bit strict with an administrative professional because she was just not meeting the expectations of the department, and was wasting her time filing nails and chit-chatting during office hours. His view was that since there was caste system in India, and that this administrative professional was African American, I probably could not help but be biased against her due to my cultural background. He could not see the truth for what it was, an under-performing employee. Then there were those numerous times after 9/11 when on construction site visits, people always wanted to find out what nationality I was. And of course, there are those people who cannot pronounce my two-syllable-only first name because a fog descends on their brain as soon as their eyes see a different color or hear a different sound over the telephone. Yes, there have been many instances from my life where I have been looked at differently, the most hilarious story was when browsing through the clothing racks at a large retail store in a small town in Western New York, a little girl of four years or so asked me, "Are you human?"
As for discrimination for being female, I believe that has been also very obvious in my life and career. One of the top executives at a very large engineering firm I used to work at had a blatant bias for white males, who he thought, should be apt to lead the company. So, he was always a bit distant or skeptical about my performance. And yes, I know for a fact that I have always been paid less than my male peers, and many times had to work much harder to be given the same role, responsibility, and recognition. I have been passed over many times on promotions and raises too. One manager, on a long three hour drive to a client meeting, spent over two hours explaining to me that a role of a woman is not to be this ambitious, that it affects harmony at home, that I should seriously consider having kids and live a comfortable life with work/career taking the second stage in my life. He was very earnest in his argument and believed it in his core that men and women cannot be equals and that today's society is really trying to go against nature. (He also did not believe in evolution.) You can imagine how awkward the return journey was with him! But, I could not fault him, for there has been people in my extended family who thought the same thing.
So what do we do about it? Do we stand up and shout and cry and make a big fuss? May be, sometimes, when the opportunity and the issue is grave enough and affecting your sanity or well-being. But most of the time, it has been my experience that it all works out and that it is not worth wasting my precious energy on such issues. I was not this way when I was young, I suppose age has made me more tolerant and wiser.
My understanding now, after all these years of struggle, is that the true barrier to achievement lies not anywhere external, it is 100% internal. If I believe, in my deepest core, than I am capable and clear about the path, there is no barrier that can hinder my journey. The force of my conviction will be strong enough to either break the barriers down or help me find a way around them. Most of us spend 100% of our energy on trying to change or fix the outside world and make it bend to the way we want it to be. In business, we want our clients to see our worth, we want our employees to see our vision. At home, we want our family to be in sync with our ideas and wishes. We spend very little time really recognizing what elements we are made of and what makes us alive. If we are aligned to our core, we can be the Pied Piper of Hamelin and lead anyone to our tune. That guy had malicious intent, I am sure we won't. There are only two things that are needed for happiness and contentment in life. One, being in tune with self, accepting all the strengths and weaknesses you have, don't waste time to change them, just know them and accept them unconditionally. (This, I am working on, and it's really hard!!) And two, have pure intent, no matter how hard it is, just keep focusing on the greater good, towards a win-win solution, be it business or home front.
I suppose I owe you a story of when things did go well, to prove the point! When I went to Australia to work on a very fast paced high visibility project, I realized within just a few days that I was in for a do-or-die situation. For one, I was given responsibility that was three levels above my pay-grade and I was told outright by the management that I just had to deal with it. Then, I realized that I had the privilege to be the sole go-to person representing 150+ professionals who had done shabby design and issued them for construction. And all that had to be fixed and turned around immediately to meet the punishing project schedule. Everyday at morning construction meetings, I used to have big burly men throwing rolls of drawings at me, yelling at my face, intimidating me, and sometimes making fun at my company having sent this small brown girl to handle this muiti-billion dollar construction project. I was very distraught in the beginning, but then I just let go all the insults and issues by the wayside. There was a job to be done and I was going to get it done. The next nine months were the most excruciating months of my professional life, I worked 90 hour weeks, non-stop. I used to attend two such painful meetings every morning, get all the issues identified, then sit at my desk and send detailed design packages to five teams in four different countries, who then worked around the clock to deliver to me completed drawings which I reviewed for accuracy and then issued for construction the next day. There was no time to waste on emotions or counting prejudices or protesting. It took about four months to get the train on track, and over time all those people who used to throw things at me and yell at me, started becoming my friends and would stand up in respect when I walked into meeting rooms. At the end of the job, the upper management received milti-million bonus packages, while I got mere $3,200 ($1,500 after taxes!) for all the hard work. I just chalk it off as Life!! I learned on that job in one year what I could not have learned in seven years of regular office desk-job back here in the US. Could I have done better without those challenges and a reasonable pay, sure!! But I do not delve on that, it's useless to believe that outside circumstances have anything to do with your potential. If you have it in you, you will find a way to work out the existing situations or around it.
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So well written! Loved it :)
ReplyDeleteThank you!
ReplyDelete