If I were to do it again, i.e., start college again, and not have the huge burden I had then at that tender age of 17, I would have not changed from Physics major to Engineering, and I would have charted the course of my career very differently. But I did not have the wherewithal to follow my dreams at that time; I can't even say I had zero support, I had in fact an excessive emotional mountain bearing on against my dreams, with no financial help whatsoever, and no mentor or guide; it was very hard. I felt so alone and distraught, that after seven months of trying to "fight the system", I had to give in to the pressure. Today I am in a great place. Granted I am not in the top 1% in financial wealth nor writing books/ doing the speech circuits, etc., it is not because I cannot do all that, it is because I know that those will not bring me lasting contentment. I am perfectly happy running my own small practice and experiencing the small joys of my day to day life, which leaves me much space and peace to contemplate and meditate. At 17 this would not have charted this path. But this is where I am today, life made it's own path and it is one-way.
I find myself in a position to mentor young minds these days. I will say I enjoy it. It gives me tremendous sense of satisfaction to be able to be the guide I did not have when I was in their age.
What I look for in each kid is that sparkle of excitement in their eyes with which they will proclaim - "No matter what, I will blast off! No one can stop me! Here is what I have planned! This is my trajectory for now! I reserve the right to change my trajectory when new information presents itself. And I will prevail, no matter what hurdles come my way!" Why? I had that fire in me at that age, even though it was smothered at that time, it was smoldering in me for several decades till it found the right amount of fuel and oxygen to grow. I do not want these kids to smolder like I did, I want to encourage that fire to rage, now, today.
This song by Ural Thomas & The Pain, The Right Time, Smoldering Fire, kind of says my feelings well.
I often wonder why this song is not famous. The vocals are so rich, sounds scintillating, and the heady storytelling leads to a crescendo. I know it is themed as a romantic song, but I see it in a different light. I see it an ode to realizing ones potential in life. The singer here is the catalyst in the process of transformation, the smoldering fire was always there ready to go ablaze. Sometimes there is a short lived catalyst needed to get the reaction going. And here the catalyst is saying how fulfilled he feels to be in that role. That is how nourished I feel when I can be a catalyst in the transformation of young minds. It gives me joy that is hard to explain in material terms.
What I usually impress on my mentees is that the world you are going to enter is 1,000+% different from what your dad, your mum, or me had maneuvered. Even if we try to equip you with the best knowledge and skills and “tricks” that worked for us, it will not even scratch the surface of what you need to build your house. We are all useless to you, except that we can give you unconditional love. Nothing more. But you know what, that unconditional love is what is most lacking in most people. That is the catalyst, the oxygen, for the smoldering fire to go ablaze. It is a great blessing to people like me to be in this position to give you that. To believe in your dreams and to believe in your potential. Hold your hand when the going gets a bit shaky, and it will, undoubtedly.
I also get a bit concerned when I do not see in them the unbridled curiosity about the world and the restlessness to figure it out. That really worries me. Sometimes I cannot smell the smoldering fire. Often I see anger, I see frustration, I see anxiety; all these are part of restlessness that is needed, but not enough. This anger/ frustration/anxiety need to fuel in them this irrepressible can-do and will-do attitude, like a space rocket that will blast off the planet leaving gravity behind. When I do not see that in the kids, it worries me. Very much.
No one can give them that fuel. No one can give them the thrusts and boosters. No one can even give them the trajectory. They have to devise it themselves. It will have to come from inside. A burn to blast off to the universe.
I eagerly wait to see that sparkle of excitement in their eyes with which they will proclaim that - No matter what, I will blast off! No one can stop me! Here is what I have planned! This is my trajectory for now! I reserve the right to change my trajectory when new information presents itself. And I will prevail, no matter what hurdles come my way.
